


A Caricature of Intimacy

by covertCalligrapher



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, an anon asked for it and i am weak willed, because there is drinking, but i like it, half of this is in a bar, just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-04
Updated: 2013-02-04
Packaged: 2017-11-28 03:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/669819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/covertCalligrapher/pseuds/covertCalligrapher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You've cared for the skinny girl since she was taller than you and the actions you took to get her alone and prepared for you may not be the wisest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Caricature of Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

> Hope I have appeased, anon.

The floors are hardwood and have the distinct smell of lacquer and desperation that most haunts such as this possess. Bars made of polished brass give shape and lines to the shining wood. The smokey air has the taste of thick sadness and the consistency of molasses. Everything moves more slowly here, time is something that you find at the bottom of a glass that is quickly refilled. The heady scent of the liquor is something you've found comforting as of late, your heart filling more and more with the burning liquid.

Maybe that's why you brought her here. You've become so accustomed to the liquid fire that it takes more than a few passed hours to cloud your mind. Terezi is small, much smaller than you. Skinny and smart, she's easily overtaken by the amber drink.

She laughs, sweet and easy. Her hand gropes around for a glass before you gently press one into her grasp and she sloppily takes a swig. She puts the glass down and grins in your direction. “Karkat, I think coming here was a great end to the week!”

You frown at your hands, but keep your tone light. She can't see the grimace on your face, so you keep it out of your words. “Fridays only happen so often. About 52 times a year.”

She laughs again at this and leans in closer to you. You flinch away slightly. This close you can feel her and the heat she emanates, proving that yes, she is really here with you. She's flushed warm due to her inebriated state and smells like a mix of her perfume and the bitter liquid you so readily fed her.

She smiles again, her broken eyes crinkling with the force of her grin. “That sounded like you were trying to make a joke. You were, weren't you!” She slides her hand along the bar and grabs her glass again.

Her loud accusation attracts the attention of those around you. You wave your hands at them and shrug, she's small and new to losing herself in bottles. They look away. You lean in close to Terezi and whisper, “Terezi, I think you've had enough.” You take her glass from her and she frowns, demanding it back.

You say no, she's had enough, and she reaches around you, attempting to take it from your grasp. She falls forward, overestimating the strength and coordination her legs possessed at the moment. Her body falls into yours and you can hardly notice. She's so thin, her mass is minimal compared to yours.

You're disgusted with yourself.

You brought her here with underlying motives to the better for yourself and to the worse for her. Your want and devotion for and to her surpasses and feeds off of your baser urges. You'd hoped to get the both of you into a state for your confessing, both for you to tell her how you feel and for her to be in a mind to receive your emotions in a civil manner. Perhaps let yourself wander on her, if she'll let you.

And she lets you. She grabs fist fulls of your shirt and she's breathing deeply and rapidly. Her mouth is open slightly and she takes her lip between her teeth and worries it slightly. Your hands are holding her up around her waist, she'll fall without you there.

So you tell yourself.

She tugs herself up to your face and misses your mouth, her lips grazing over your cheek. You move to meet her and she presses lazily to you. Just a press, but it's all you need before you're completely into her, holding her closely to you, moving your lips with hers. She feels feverish and pulls away from you after a minute. Her eyes are closed and her breath puffs out, warm and quick on your face.

You groan and she kisses you again, this time with more control.

Her lips, too warm and more lovely than you had hoped, take from you and put herself there. She takes pieces of you and exchanges them with her, the broken chunks fitting easily into place on the both of you. All too soon, she pulls back again and leans her forehead on yours. “Man, you're warm. How much did you drink?” She giggles, the sound short and full of energy.

You grimace again, she thinks you're drunk. You look at her for a moment before going along with it. “I had about as much as you did,” you sigh a little sloppily at her. She keeps smiling before she pecks you again.

“Wow, I feel great though! Dontshoo?” she breathes against your face. You groan again, the feeling of her just laying on you wrecking you.

“Fantastic,” you say and it's only a half-lie. You love her, love her holding onto you, showing affection she may or may not have for you so freely. You feel like a complete fool and a creep for doing this, for letting this happen.

She sits on you more fully now, not so much a straddle as she's actually sitting in your lap. She happily brushes her nose back and forth across your cheek, smiling softly and subconsciously. She leans in to kiss you again and you let her, why are you letting her. You're a weak-willed sack of shit and you're taking advantage of her.

You let out a moan as her tongue begs entrance to your mouth. You feel her smile slightly as you allow her, taking your lip between her teeth. It gets more and more heated from there until you're sure you're going to explode and take her with you.

She breaks off and you are painfully aware of the people staring at you. She leans up and breathes an almost silent ask, more of a request, really, into your ear.

“Let's go back to your place.”

Well, you almost jump out of your skin right there. You push out an extremely hurried yes before floundering to pay the bar tender. The sweaty wad of money you hurl at him is counted rapidly and you are out the door, practically running down the street with Terezi to your apartment. She laughs, breathless and giddy all the way there and you're caught up in a cloud of need, self-hate, and coiling fear.

You love her so much and you're scum.

You practically punch your apartment door open before thinking about unlocking it. You fumble with your keys, Terezi smiling and rolling back and forth on her heels. You get the house open and Terezi is on you. She throws her arms around your neck, pulling you down to her small stature. She presses her lips to yours with precision and speed, each peck rapid as she goes from your lips to your neck, traveling along your jawline.

You moan more loudly than you expected to when she gets to your shoulder and tugs your shirt. She pushes on you, shoves until you maneuver the two of you to your couch. She presses you down and sits on top of you, and you'll be damned if you say you aren't already completely ready for her.

You are, and that's the problem.

She tugs off your shirt and starts to put herself into a similar state until you halt her progression. You hold her wrists and tell her to stop, please stop, not right now.

She looks hurt and you take your hands off of her, she's suddenly too warm to bear. “I don't... get it?” she says after a moment of taking in the silence you left in the wake of your hurried request.

You sigh and run your hands down your face. “Dammit, I'm scum. I'm terrible. I'm the biggest fucking asshole this half of the planet and don't deserve the courtesy being called scum. Because I am so much worse than that.”

She frowns at you. “Karkat, what are you talking about?” she asks. If she weren't currently in her fevered and inebriated state of being, she most likely would have ran through every possibility about you and your reasons. She would have calculated the most likely cause of you and come up with a reason and response.

She's dulled now and not Terezi and you just can't do it.

You explain to her everything while hiding your face from her dead gaze with your hands. You thought maybe going out would be the perfect time to ask her out, maybe tell her how you feel, felt, will feel. You describe how you're gutless and completely lack any sort of competence in the field of your own romantic endeavors. Handling those of others is a breeze, but untangling your own tossed feelings is hopeless without scissors, and you don't want to do that. You tell her that you're not drunk and that you took her out to get the both of you smashed and that that backfired quite magnificently if you do say so yourself.

And you do. You tell her everything right down to how much you love her and hate yourself.

Instead of being angry, she's confused and seemingly flattered.

She punches you in the face, hard as she can with her slight frame. Alright, perhaps she's a little angry.

She laughs and leans forward pressing your bare chest to her shirt. She's smiling and speaking into your shoulder, her clever words coming to her suddenly.

“I'd like to talk about this when I can count back from 10 without getting lost,” she says slowly, precisely. She presses a kiss to your shoulder before continuing and your stomach flips itself over. “But Karkat. Karkat. I've wanted to get you alone in a room for a while.”

It's your turn to be confused. “What?”

She laughs again, concise and full of elation. “We've known each other for years, ever since we were small and I could see. Most of the dreams I have where I can see have been about you!”

Her sloppy sentence sticks your self-hate in the eye and leaves it reeling on the ground. You hug her tightly to you, pressing your face into her neck. You laugh and feel her do the same.

She pushes out words between her bouts of shaking giddiness that you arrange into an intelligible sentence. “Oh, God, let's talk about this tomorrow!”

You rub your face back and forth on her neck, the motion slight and she sighs at it. You kiss her there, loving the little noise she breathes out. “I love you,” you mumble into her and you doubt even she could pick up on such soft speech.

She drags fingers through your hair and the two of you eventually fall asleep like that. You're wrapped around each other on your couch, and you can't imagine a better end to what could have very possibly been the worst night any version of you could have suffered. You smell of alcohol and hardwood lacquer, but distinctly lack the desperation.

You dream of her, just as you have every night. Dream, as she apparently has done about you.

**Author's Note:**

> Hoohee, that was actually pretty fun.
> 
> Here's the message I got from anonymous:
> 
> can i get humanstuck karkat picking terezi up at a bar or something and getting all the way back to his place before his guilt gets to him and he explains to her that he's not actually drunk and that he's admired her for a long time and just lacked the guts to actually go anywhere with it idk just came up with that


End file.
